and why the heads up all those years ago?
Eh?
Well I started with a question in my own mind. What is suffering? Am I suffering? No seriously. How am I coping? What do I think? Stuff like that.
As I have thought I got stuck. I could NOT easily align the word ‘suffering’ with what I am now experiencing. I realize that sounds odd. But is true. I have ‘stuf’ going on. Big Stuff. I have had to adjust. WE have had to adjust in our family. Obviously.
I do have struggles. Big ones. I have to manage pain every day. I have completely lost the use of my legs. And all function in my pelvis. I am …well… utterly dependant on others for everything below me belly button. Not great for a man’s pride!
But when I think of ‘Do I suffer’.
I hate/don’t like/ struggle most with those around me- again seriously. I watch them and see suffering- because of me. Not what I want to see.
Funny thing though
When I was about 21 years young I read the story of Joni Erickson Tada. Young women, late teen even, Dived into a lake, broke her neck. Quadriplegic from then on. It was a story I found riveting and frightening. I also read another book. It was about someone my folks knew who lived with a twisted gut syndrome and constant pain.
I remember very clearly thinking: How do you do that? Something went IN me. Strangely I thought I might have to do that… one day. A strange thought, but one which has never left me
So here I am. The pain thing is there- annoying, frustrating, yes upsetting sometimes.
Anyhow- I have tried to waffle about it. Emily filming, with the girls permission for all here- some thoughts on suffering There might be some more.
Post Filming
Not wanting to present sugar-coated day. Post filming I did get distressed with pain and it took about three hours to sort me out a bunch if stuff related to me/ Sharon and one of the girls again. Suffering.
It’s all a little Weird. That’s the word.
No what though. We are perplexed but not crushed.
and I want to finish the race… well.
Big Daddy-Daughter Time 
Very inspiring Martin!!
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All the very best to you and your family in managing your illness Martin. Sharing your thoughts/suffering will, I’m sure, see the whole birding community wishing you well.
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We can learn a lot
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Absolutely beautiful and very thoughtful piece. Made me cry. You are a very inspiring man.
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Seriously unique and thought provoking stuff. Well done Martin and his girls.
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I’ve got no words, Martin but quite a few tears. You’re running that race really well even with the big pants!
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What a Dad! Brave and moving, an example to all of us Martin!
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Hi Buddy
I have a rough idea of how you are feeling right now, For everything we know through science and religion we are still living in one massive enigma. IT is way beyond us.We will probably never know just what its all about .Very annoying and very frustrating. Why are we here ?, what should we doing ? , We cannot understand why people have had to live a life with no legs. no ability to speak or hear or even move. Life is a mystery that no human can ever explain. What i do know Martin is that life has been so important to so many people .Within your life , you have helped more people than you will ever know. There are very few people in this world will ever have that statement put to them. Just continue the way you have always been mate , stop deep thinking , cause you will never be able to analyse it, and give and share the love you always have .
Your my man
All the very best to you all
Mick and Kath
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Your blog is an inspiration.
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thinking and praying for you all at this time Martin, Craig.
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I experience pain each day form my diabetes due to nerve damage and the affect it is having on my eyes. It has curtailed my daily birding. This has given me a new perspective. Best wishes to you and your family. Thanks for sharing.
Gavin Allan
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Thanks so much for allowing us into this most private and personal trial Martin and family. You are a HUGE inspiration to so many. Your story about bigger pants reminded me of a story the son of a Welsh Baptist minister told me long ago, how in the middle of a service, one man stood up in the congregation and prayed earnestly (best imagined in a broad Welsh accent), “O Lord, as the deer pants for the water, give us bigger pants!” So you see, you’ve got what he asked for! I, with my wife and own two dear daughters, am tracking with you, and what you are sharing with Abi and Emily, I am sharing with Catherine and Rebekah. Cheering you on! God bless.
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